On the night of October 28, 1796, Napoleon Bonaparte slid a slim gold ring onto the finger of his newly wed wife Josephine. It held two stones - a pear-cut sapphire and a pear-cut diamond, side by side, each leaning gently toward the other. An engraving on the inside read simply: 'To Josephine.'

That ring - the original toi et moi - sold at auction in 2013 for nearly US$1 million. And in 2026, the style it inspired is the most-searched engagement ring design in the world.

French for 'you and me.' Two stones. One ring. One of the most romantic ideas in all of jewellery history.

What Makes It a Toi et Moi?

The defining feature is simple: two stones set together on a single ring, each given roughly equal visual prominence, each essential to the composition. Remove either stone and the ring loses its meaning. They are not a centre stone and an accent. They are partners - which is precisely the point.

Beyond that structural principle, the toi et moi is extraordinarily flexible. The stones can be the same or different. The setting can be minimal or elaborate. The orientation can be vertical, horizontal, or angled. There is no single correct version of a toi et moi - which is part of why it adapts so naturally to bespoke design.

The Setting Orientations

East-West - The two stones sit side by side along the horizontal axis of the ring. The most common and visually balanced orientation - both stones are equally visible from above, and the setting reads as a deliberate pair.

Angled / V-Shape - Each stone is set at a slight inward angle so the tips face each other at the centre. Creates a sense of movement and intimacy - the stones lean toward each other like a conversation.

Vertical / Stacked - One stone above the other along the band's vertical axis. Less common but striking on the hand - creates length and a ring that behaves more like a fashion statement than a traditional bridal piece.

The Stone Combinations

This is where a toi et moi becomes genuinely personal. The two stones don't have to match - in fact, the most interesting versions often don't.

Diamond and Diamond - Two stones of the same material but different shapes. An oval beside a marquise. A round beside a pear. The contrast in silhouette creates movement without colour contrast.

Diamond and Sapphire - The Napoleon and Josephine combination. Also Ariana Grande's ring, Kylie Jenner's ring, and countless others. The contrast of white and blue is timeless - and lets both stones tell different parts of one story.

Diamond and Emerald - Sharp contrast, high drama. The green of a fine emerald against the fire of a diamond creates one of the most visually striking combinations in jewellery.

Diamond and Ruby - Passionate. Bold. Historically resonant. A ruby brings heat; the diamond brings light.

Two Different Coloured Stones - A pink sapphire and a blue sapphire. An emerald and a ruby. Two different shapes of the same stone type in different tones. Almost anything is possible, and the most unusual combinations are often the most personal.

Two Different Shapes, Same Stone - An oval lab-grown diamond and a marquise-cut natural diamond. A cushion and an elongated cushion. Two stones that are materially identical but visually distinct - subtler, but meaningful for the couple who wants something only they will notice.

How to Choose the Right Stone Pairing for You

Start with what each stone will represent, if that matters to you. Some couples choose birthstones - one stone for each partner. Others choose stones that correspond to a meaningful colour, a shared memory, or simply the two most beautiful things they saw side by side.

If symbolism matters less than aesthetics, start with visual weight: the two stones should feel balanced on the hand. They don't have to be the same carat weight - a pear and a marquise, for example, can look beautifully balanced even if the pear is slightly larger, because elongated shapes appear lighter. Ask your jeweller to design both stones in 3D together so you can see the composition before you commit.

For coloured stone combinations: consider complementary colours (blue and orange, green and red, pink and teal) for maximum contrast and drama, or analogous tones (pink and peach, blue and violet) for a softer, more blended look. Neither is wrong - it comes down to whether you want the ring to whisper or speak.

Choosing the Setting

Most toi et moi rings sit on a slim, relatively simple band - because the visual complexity is already in the two-stone composition and adding an elaborate band can overwhelm it.

Prong setting - Maximises light entering both stones and creates the most transparent, delicate look. Works beautifully for diamonds and for sapphires and rubies, which are hard enough to handle exposed corners safely.

Bezel or half-bezel - Each stone wrapped in a frame of metal. More protective and modern-feeling. Particularly recommended when one or both stones is an emerald (Mohs 7.5-8, more vulnerable to impact).

East-West bezel on a plain band - Perhaps the purest, most contemporary version of the toi et moi. Two stones in clean metal mounts, side by side, on a plain gold band. Understated enough to wear every day, distinctive enough to be unmistakable.

Toi et Moi and the Size Question

Because the visual presence is divided across two stones rather than concentrated in one, a toi et moi often allows clients to achieve a more generous overall composition at a comparable budget to a single-stone ring. Two 0.70 ct stones, for example, can create more visual impact than a single 0.90 ct stone - particularly in contrasting shapes or colours.

For lab-grown diamond pairings especially, this flexibility is significant. Two matched 1 ct lab-grown diamonds in a toi et moi gives you 2 ct of visible diamond for a price that would be unreachable in two natural stones of comparable quality.

The Stara Toi et Moi

Stara offers toi et moi settings as part of its standard collection, with a range of pre-designed two-stone configurations across our signature settings. For those who want something entirely their own - a specific stone pairing, a particular orientation, an unusual shape combination - every toi et moi Stara makes is designed to order.

Free consultation. Free 3D rendering showing exactly how your two chosen stones will sit together. No deposit until you love what you see. Available in lab-grown and natural diamonds, and in any coloured gemstone combination Stara can source.

Our Honest Advice

If you want the classic version: diamond and sapphire, east-west orientation, slim yellow gold band. It has been the most beautiful version of this style for 230 years and will continue to be.

If you want something personal: choose the two stones that mean something. It doesn't have to be logical. It doesn't have to follow convention. The toi et moi's whole point is that the ring belongs to your specific two people - not to a trend, not to a catalogue.

Napoleon had the right idea. The ring outlasted the empire by two centuries. That's the standard worth aiming for.

Your story, set in stone.

Begin the conversation at staradesigns.ca